The things women never tell you when you get older. I always thought like a fine wine I would be getter better with age. For the most part that is true. However I am more like a scotch than a Merlot. Strong to handle but desired and nice when aged if poured correctly and allowed to breathe.
Recently I had to regulate my body. We were having a miscommunication with cycles if you get my drift. So I received the depo shot. So fun that I am now on iron supplements because Aunt Flow has been flowing for a few months now. To help combat this I will be taking another hormone to stop the first one from creating havoc on my body. The irony..oh the punnies. I was so excited with my pictures as of late. I was loving my pale skin. One of the signs for being iron deficient. Life is so emotional….especially when you are shot up with a round of hormones. Literally!!!
I had a better completion as a teenager. I rarely had acne. Now I look like I have a mountain terrain on my both sides of my face. Even due to wonderful hormones each month I get them on the side of neck. I know another joy for some for getting older.
Did you know women can grow hair on their lip? I have it but it’s so light. But not light enough, I guess, because the estitician asked if she could wax off my mustache. Talk about a humbling experience! I was actually nervous because I though I would to be shaving my face along with my teenage son every morning.
When my boys called me a witch they weren’t too far off. I have this one black hair that grows on my chin. I pluck, wax , rub salt, coconut oil, essential oils, dance under the moon every third sunday, ring the bells and it STILL grows back in the same spot. It’s this fine coarse long black single strand of hair. I usually don’t notice until my five-year old asks me if I am starting to grow a beard.
I don’t care what anyone says after 30 its harder to lose to weight. I have been on every diet under the sun. I am currently on weight watchers and I will be doing a quick 30 day cleanse. Already talked to my doctor about my “webMD” approach, I am not a doctor but I sure know how to google. Got my vitamin B shot and I am ready to go. My significant other tells me I just need to do “push aways”. Curious, I asked him what exercise that was. He told me it is just pushing away the food. Clearly I haven’t done that one.
Putting on your jeans can be as traumatic as giving birth. Especially when your children walk by your bedroom and remind you if you have to hold your breath or you are in some weird yoga pose that the jeans don’t fit.
I love stretch jeans. I guess that is what you call them. Oh my gosh they are like yoga pants, and you put on a nice top and no one can tell the difference. It’s the phat mommy guide to looking presentable, those stretch jeans. My significant other asked why my jeans were so weird. Meaning he wanted to know why the legs stretched in the pants and accused me of wearing stretch jeans. Let me just say that if your significant other wears them, it is the unspoken rule to ever ask why she is wearing them. I was caught off guard so I gave him three reasons why I wear stretch jeans. The last one was our little man, who at that moment was sitting in his lap reading a book.
Comfort over anything else. I am totally the whitie tightie ( maybe not tightie) cotton kind of girl. Big on comfort and really these days no one is looking, I don’t want them looking. I am too tired to care about cute undies. I did try to be trendy and I attempted the g-string. Only to be walking funny and picking out wedgies all day. The next day I was nursing a rash and thankful I still had baby ointment in the house.
I am premenapaulsal or at least I think I am. I go from feeling hot to cold to hot to cold to I don’t remember where I left my car keys or if I am doing carpool today. Your mind is mush, I think I have been losing brain cells after each kid. It’s a good day for me when I don’t have to hear Cailllou’s voice, my kids are not fighting in our world or the virtual world they created in Minecraft.
I am a stretchy jeans, bun loving, carpool driving, mustache growing, cupcake loving, emotional, spanx wearing mom and I wear it gracefully with a latte in hand. There’s more to come I am sure. I guess women don’t tell you these things so as to keep you from getting depressed and to just let you laugh as you go. I mean if I was told about the hard knock life of parenthood not knowing anything before being swept away with this tsunami of a ride…..I don’t think I would have ever gone off of birth control. So maybe its a good ting we don’t know all the little surprises yet.
~ Adrianne
