Home Economics

Home Economics

When I was in the eighth grade in junior high school, I took a class called Home Economics. I did not relate this class to teaching me anything all about finances. Like many of my schoolmates, I knew it would be an easy A class. I learned how to iron a shirt properly. I learned how to maneuver around the cuffs, collar and buttonholes. I learned how to steam a pleat and sew a beanbag in the shape of a clown. But nowhere in this class did they say one day you will have to manage a household budget. Then I graduated high school and went out into the world and was in for a BIG surprise. So I learned trial by fire. I learned what NSF’s were real quick.

Fast-forward, it was 1995 and I was a single parent of a 15 year old daughter and like many parents, I spent many years fighting the unnecessary, impulse spending that she liked to inflict on me when we were out. At times, I would give in and others, it became a knock down, drag out right there. Then one day she wanted to go do something and I explained to her I didn’t have the money. She was dismissive of the statement and said to “just go the bank and put your card in and take some out or write a check”, as if it were nothing. I realized in that moment she had no concept of money even though she had a job. She had no financial responsibilities so why would she? I mean, she was only 15 and it wasn’t anything my parents taught me or that I learned in school. I had to teach myself like everybody else in my generation. So I did something drastic in that moment.

I told her that for the whole summer, she had to manage the household. That included: paying all the bills, writing out the checks, balancing the checkbook, grocery shopping, while staying within budget and, keeping in mind, I needed money for gas until the next pay-day. That weekend, I laid it all out for her. The bills were on the table, along with my pay stubs, checkbook and calculator. I explained to her about debits on the left and credits on the right and what that meant. I showed her how to read a pay stub. That what I actually made wasn’t necessarily what I brought home. She learned about FICA, Social Security and state and local taxes. I showed her how much I paid for health insurance and explained that didn’t include what wasn’t covered by the plan that I had to pay for out-of-pocket (showing her the stack of medical bills). I taught her how to read the bills for due dates, past dues, and the rhythm I had set for paying our household bills based on my pay periods.

I assured her the math was basic addition and subtraction but if she calculated incorrectly it could cause checks to bounce incurring non-sufficient funds charges against my account (at that time, they were $15.00) causing me to spend more money than was necessary. When she was done, I dropped her off at the grocery store, cash and coupons, along with a list in hand. I gave her a quarter and told her to call me when she was done. And so went her summer vacation. I was proud of her. At first, I thought she would get frustrated and refuse to continue the experiment but she didn’t. She rose to the challenge.

It was a great financial exercise that led to other teachable moments about credit and living within ones means. I considered myself one of the most brilliant parents ever!

The proof ended up being in the pudding. When she was a senior in high school, she paid for her senior trip to Mexico. I think what made it all the more sweeter for her was because I was a single mother with no financial assistance from her father, she was able to do it all on her own. At 19, she bought herself a used car, on credit, that I co-signed for. I emphasized that what she did on this affected me too, to be mindful. Within nine months, she bought a brand new vehicle. And by the ripe old age of 21, she bought her first home.

I was so proud. She did all this while living on her own, working and going to school full-time, as well. I think it pays (no pun intended) to stop looking at your children as children and realize that one day, they will be cast out into the world expected to live and thrive. But they can’t do that if they aren’t given the skill set to do so. I believe this is something that should definitely be taught in school. Along with how to prepare your own tax filing or how to invest in a 401(k).

Teaching your children how to manage their personal finances will be the gift that keeps on giving. If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, right?

~ Theresa