Today I went to the beach with my cousin. He asked if my boys would like to explore some caves, I figured why not I am not at all adventurous. This is why they love when their Uncle Mike visits as he takes them out on adventures, aka out of mommy’s comfort zone. Little did I know mommy would be venturing out of her comfort zone as well. Its one thing for the boys to do, well boys things, but for me, I prefer to sit on the sidelines as I have mini heart attacks watching my boys. Today was my own little reality of fear factor because little did I know I was going to be a participant.
A little back-story ……
Michael has always does things like this to me, he will not give me the full agenda of anything until we are to our destination because I will not only ask a million questions but I will back out of it out of fear of the unknown. When I was sixteen he gave me my first lesson in aggressive driving, little did I know it would be. You see he packed up his van with his toddler, his dog and he told me we were going for a drive. My cousin Jonna was on the driveway biting her lip, I asked her if she was getting in the car? She just shook her head no and had a look of fear on her face masked with a smile. I had no idea what was going on. What was the big deal about going for a drive? Yeah, well I didn’t get the memo that it was I that was going to be driving the van. Hello, I was petrified to drive a car let a lone a VAN. He threw the keys at me and said, “Dee Dee you’re driving.” It was a 15-minute debate and I found myself driving down PCH with their German shepherd and toddler with sweat pouring from my face. I was scared out of my mind because I wasn’t prepared for this journey. What was he thinking having a new driver drive his family around one of the biggest streets? I ended up enjoying it and getting over my fear of driving down PCH in a van that’s for sure. I also got a lesson on how to be aggressive on the road, that was fun!
As we were walking along the beach my cousin was telling me about the low tide and how fun this was going to be. I was already thinking in my head an escape plan and asking him if high tide came in what would happen. He told me he would take care of my boys but I was on my own, LOL! The further we got out the more frightened I became, I was upset I wasn’t prepared I told him he should have told me we were going on he beach because I would have brought my toddlers life vest. He told me to pipe down and just enjoy the beauty of nature. So I did, I was picking up shells and rocks with my middle son until the good Samaritan my cousin said I had to put them down and couldn’t keep them because they belonged to the beach. He gave the speech to my son but looked at me. He said he would be checking pockets to make sure we didn’t leave with any of the property. So we took pictures along the way of things that we enjoyed, the shells and rocks. We left them where they were so the next person can enjoy on their walk should they too venture out.
My cousin with his sandals was walking with ease over the rocks with my toddler in tow.
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My nine year old was as equally skilled and then there was me, who did really well until we got to the opening of the cave. We had to climb or jump to some rocks to get to the opening. I asked my cousin if there was another easier way to do this. He said no. By this time he made it over with my toddler and my 9 year old was nervous but he made it over and was watching me cling to the rocks. My cousin told me to jump to the rock that was two feet away. Yeah I would have never made it and I would have ended up hurting my cousin who swore he would have caught me if I would have jumped. I told him I would just jump in the water, after all I had insurance on my cellphone and I could care at this point as I was so scared. He said you don’t want to jump in this water you can jump to the rock. I kept saying I was scared. I was literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. I could either stay there, go back which would be more difficult or face my fear and figure out a way to get to the cave. I just kept saying out loud how scared I was and I was shaking, I just hugged the rock and my cousin put his hand against my back, that’s how close my cousin was to me ( he was standing on the rock I was supposed to jump to).
I made it over and he said, now that see how close the rock wall was to the rock would you jump next time, my answer is no. He told me how proud he was that I overcame a fear. I am scared of heights, climbing rocks, elevators, tide, and obviously the unknown. Today I conquered some and the thrill was amazing. Would I do it again, probably not but at least I can say I did it. I even have my wounds from my encounter, if you look really hard you can see it. HA!
When it was time to leave I was nervous on how we were going to get back with my boys, I knew my cousin had my boys handled. I am all for doing things once but I couldn’t imagine dong it again and getting back over the rock wall frightened me with the boys. Then I see my son exploring the cave and I see an entrance, albeit it was covered with water from the high tide from the night before none the less it was a way out….. an easier way out, and in.
I asked my cousin why we didn’t just go thru the tunnel, he said it was easier however sometimes that’s not the point. Another life lesson ; sometimes you need to take the higher road, literally.
I learned some very important things today,
* Sometimes fear is a good thing
* I want to do one thing once a year that scares me
* When going anywhere with my cousin I need to pack like I’m going on survivor. Life-vests for boys, flares, first aid kit, inflatable boat, xanax, and just a good attitude!
I really did have an amazing time and I will admit after I made it safely to the other side of the cave the thrill of knowing I overcame a fear was so worth it!
